


Hazardous Materials

by speccygeekgrrl



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: F/M, First Time, Kingachrome, Sex Pollen, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:26:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: Kingachrome is volatile and the Skeleton Crew is fed up with how little Kinga cares about the frequent spills. An engineered disaster turns out not so disastrously for all involved.





	Hazardous Materials

**Author's Note:**

> This is NOT associated with "even the mistakes aren't really mistakes at all". Totally separate thing. If you are expecting something like that you are going to be startled.
> 
> I feel like I haven't been showing my true colors in this fandom yet with all the slow burn fluff I've been writing. I am not-so-secretly a shameless pornographer who specializes in niche pairings/fandoms. I wrote this entire thing in one sitting and now I feel I can go back to my sweet slow burn fluff for a few more stories. I just had to porn. It's a compulsion.

Afterwards, Kinga blamed it on Max, Max blamed it on the Skeleton Crew, and the Skeleton Crew privately congratulated themselves for pulling it off. After all the Kingachrome leaks down in Moon 14, certain patterns became obvious to the Crew who had to handle it, and honestly... it was too funny not to do it. 

Kinga and Max had been getting lazy about the containment procedures at the end of the experiments. Pristine white coats in place, but ignoring the other safety protocols. All it took was "forgetting" to seal the canister completely, and a little "trip", and both the Mads were soaked to the skin in a borderline naughty beach movie with an alligator monster. 

"What the-- _ugh_ ," Kinga spluttered, wiping her face off hastily. "Oh, gross."

"Ew, it feels like lukewarm coconut oil," Max said, pulling at the collar of his coat. "But it smells like Sex on the Beach."

" _What?_ "

"The cocktail! Not-- oh, I'm going to go change." He walked away, dripping bright pink movie fluid, and she stood there for another second trying to get the excess out of her hair before she followed him down the corridor to the wing of the compound where the private quarters were. By the time she reached her own door, she felt a little dizzy, and by the time she stripped out of her ruined coat and stepped into the shower, her ears were ringing slightly and she felt out of breath.

Well. She'd never done a proper analysis of the hazards of Kingachrome. It couldn't be too toxic if the Skeleton Crew dealt with spills all the time... right? Well, they were genetically engineered, and she wasn't. It looked like maybe she should have been a little more worried about the contamination risk. Max had been right about what it felt like, an oily texture that resisted the water trying to wash it away. She shampooed her hair twice trying to get it out and scrubbed her face roughly, not moving on to the rest of her body until she'd gotten the worst of it off her head. She listed against the wall of the shower, closing her eyes to categorize everything that felt wrong.

Ringing ears. Shortness of breath. Overheating, although she wasn't positive if that was a side effect or a result of the shower temperature. Her skin felt hypersensitive to the point where even her plastic shower puff felt unpleasant; she dropped it and soaped herself up with bare hands and a ridiculous amount of shower gel. Usually she thought about inventions while she was in the shower, finding inspiration usually struck when she cleared her mind. Her mind wasn't clear now. She was too aware of her own touch to zone out like normal. It was impossible to be perfunctory about cleaning herself off when she felt everything so acutely.

 _Oh, fuck,_ she thought as her fingers slid between her legs. All the myriad complaints her body was making sharpened into aching arousal that slammed into her like a ton of feathers, soft and ticklish and utterly overwhelming. Fine, she could take care of herself, it wasn't like she wasn't used to tending to her own needs.

Half an hour later Kinga got out of the shower, not just aroused but furiously aroused. Nothing worked. All of her tried-and-true tricks couldn't get her there, just worked her up and left her hanging, and she was pissed about it. It wasn't like she had a lot of options up here on the Moon. She only had one option, and she was angry that she was even seriously considering it. How long had she spent fending off Max's ridiculously clumsy advances? He didn't deserve her, not at all, but... 

She reached for her phone to call him and found a string of texts from him already there. _this is bad. i don't feel okay. i think kingachrome might be poison. am i going to die? i think i might be dying._ She rolled her eyes and hit the call button.

"Max? Come here."

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said immediately. He sounded out of breath. She probably didn't sound much better. "I don't-- I really don't feel good. You don't want to see me like this."

"Trust me, Max. Come here." 

"I'm serious--"

"So am I. I feel weird too. We need to compare notes. We're scientists, Max. This is science. If you don't come to me, I'm coming to you."

"No, that's-- you stay there. I'll--" He sighed heavily. "I'll be there in a minute." She wrapped herself in her bathrobe and stood by the door, opening it the instant he knocked and pulling him in to slam the door behind him.

Oh, he looked like a mess. Flushed, trembling, shoulders hunched to make himself look smaller in an ancient hoodie and flannel pajama pants. His eyes widened when she let go of his arm.

"Jeez, Kinga, are you okay? You look--"

"Tell me what you feel right now," she demanded. He bit his lip and she stared at his mouth. She'd never really paid any attention to his mouth before, but now it was very, very interesting.

"I'm. Um. You don't really want to--"

"Max I swear to god if you don't just tell me I'm going to hurt you until you tell me." His eyes went as round as the Moon and he took a half-step back until his spine was pressed against the back of her bedroom door.

"Oh Jesus. Please don't. You're going to hurt me one way or another." She frowned at him, and he closed his eyes, knowing she wouldn't like what he had to say and not wanting to see the reprisal coming. "I'm painfully turned on. Actually painfully. And nothing I can do is helping."

"Me too." He cracked one eye open slightly, then let them both open when he saw that she didn't look angry. "It's really fucking frustrating."

"Yeah." She took a step closer to him, but he had nowhere to go. "Uh... Kinga..."

"Max," she said, far more patiently than she felt. "I think this is just going to get worse if we don't help each other."

"Okay, but you've literally said you would rather die than--"

"Obviously I was lying."

"Obviously," he echoed disbelievingly. "Right. Of course. Obviously." 

"I don't suppose you have any idea what you're doing...?"

"Theoretically."

"Great. We're both going to be awful at this. Exactly how I wanted my first time to go." She didn't give him time to process the statement before she pressed herself against him and kissed him and-- 

Whoa.

Okay, so they'd known each other forever. Of course she'd wondered once or twice what it would be like to kiss him, just out of idle curiosity. She'd always thought of him dismissively and never really got the thought into the practicality of what he'd feel like and that had been a strategic mistake on her part because he was _comfortable_ , soft and warm and just a little shorter than her which made her feel powerful. He wrapped his arms around her and it felt like her blood was full of champagne bubbles all of a sudden.

"I won't let it be awful, I promise. You deserve better." He gave her a nudge backwards and she stepped, giving him space to relax from his stiff posture against the door. "Can I--"

"Don't ask, just do it."

"No," he said, startling her. "I want your permission. I want you to say yes when I ask. Even if we're not in our right minds. I'm not out of it enough to just.... do things you might not be okay with." She took another step back and looked him slowly up and down. He looked resolute and she didn't know where he found the self-possession in the midst of all this. God knew she didn't have a scrap of it left to herself.

"Fine... then ask," she said, and he smiled.

"Can I take your robe off?" She nodded, and he looked like all his Christmases came at once as his hands untied the belt and gently pushed the robe off her shoulders to pool on the floor. "You're so beautiful. You're always beautiful, but-- wow." He skimmed his hands down the outsides of her arms, watching her expression avidly, but the feeling of his skin on hers was so good that she wanted more of it immediately.

"Take your clothes off too," she said, and he hesitated for only a moment before he pulled his hoodie off and let it fall. "All of it," she said, and he looked like he wanted to protest, but she splayed her hands across his chest and caressed him and she could see the pleasure wash over him the same way it had done to her. "Don't be shy." 

"I'm not shy." He wasn't. He was scared, scared that she'd change her mind, that she'd laugh at him, but she didn't feel like laughing. She felt like purring. She slid her hands down his sides and caught her fingers in the waist of his pajama pants. Whenever Kinga fantasized, she always thought about skinny men, but oh, Max looked really good right now, wide and soft and so comfortable to wrap her arms around, familiar but novel at the same time. He didn't give her much of a chance to look at him, catching her in a kiss and walking her back until her legs hit the bed. "Can... can I taste you?"

"You're not rushing through this," she said in amusement, and he gave her a look that made her giggle.

"Kinga. Seriously. If this is the only chance I ever get to make you feel this good... no, I'm not going to rush through it. I want you to remember this forever." She wondered if there would be memory side effects to the Kingachrome and found herself hoping that there wouldn't be. "Here, sit at the edge of the bed..." She let him arrange her, feeling wanton and visceral as he knelt between her parted legs and looked up at her with adoration. "Tell me if I do something wrong," he said, and leaned in to lick at her.

"Ohhh," she sighed. A melting sweetness spread through her body, starting where his mouth moved over her, tempering the heat that only a moment ago felt like it might burn her out from the core. She dug her fingers into his curls and felt him gasp right against the softest, hottest part of her before he redoubled his efforts, his hands kneading her thighs as his mouth plundered her with tender passion. She spiraled higher and higher, feeling like a firework soaring into the sky, just on the verge of exploding into brilliance--

And that was where she hung, there on the verge, so close but not able to get past the point of almost from just his tongue. She tugged him back with the hand in his hair and he whined as she pulled him away. "What-- what's wrong? Was that not--"

"Not enough," she gasped, and released his hair to urge him to his feet. "Not enough, I need more, please, Max..." She pulled him up onto the bed and pushed him onto his back, not as concerned as he was about getting permission before she took what she wanted. 

"Wait," he said, catching her hips before she could lower herself onto him. "Kinga... I know you don't mean this but it means a lot to me." She paused, looking down at him for a moment and feeling like it was the first time she really saw him, saw and understood the depth of the feelings he'd been trying so hard to hide from her.

"I mean it, Max," she said, and she leaned down to kiss him. It was true. She hadn't even considered it an hour ago, but here and now this was all she wanted and she couldn't remember why she hadn't wanted it before. His hold on her hips eased, and she slowly sank down around him, expecting it to hurt but so soaking wet that he slid in easily. 

All of the champagne bubbles in her blood seemed to pop at once. She knew she was moving but lost track of the details, hazy with pleasure. He said her name over and over and every time a new firework burst in her mind, bright red and green and purple sparks showering through her nerves. The bliss built higher and higher and higher until--

The first thing Kinga realized was that her head was clear-- no ringing ears, no suffocating heat, no frantic desire burning her from the inside out.

The second thing Kinga realized was that Max was very, very comfortable to be on top of.

The third thing Kinga realized was that she was sticky with sweat and other substances and that her body ached pleasantly in ways it had never ached before, and she really, really needed another shower.

"Max."

"Mm?" Max didn't open his eyes, in fact screwed them tighter shut.

"Max. Look at me."

"No... I don't want to see the way you're going to look at me," he said. She rolled her eyes. "I'm-- I'm sorry, I know we had to do that but I'm sorry it was me you had to do it with and--"

"Max, open your goddamn eyes." He winced and blinked them open to find her smiling down at him. "I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"No. I'm not." She cupped a hand to his cheek and he turned into her touch, looking wary but tentatively pleased. "You kept your promise."

"I didn't want you to regret it any more than you had to."

"I don't regret it at all." Now he looked hopeful. "That could have been really bad for both of us, but it wasn't."

"It was really good for me," he said. "I wanted to make it really good for you."

"It was. You did." He smiled. She arched her back and stretched and watched in satisfaction as his gaze fell to her breasts. "I need a shower now."

"Yeah, me too."

"Wanna come with me?" Surprise, suspicion, hope, and then his face settled into blatantly artificial neutrality.

"You want me to?" She nodded, and he bit his lip. "Is it okay if I kiss you again?"

"Keep asking permission... I like when you do it," she purred, and kissed him first.

**Author's Note:**

> DVD commentary of this fic can be found [here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AcARnI2C3A1Fj72Kob4zinoFFywKXKPNFYo5AAb2jJo/edit).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Hazardous Materials, by speccygeekgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10846656) by [speccygeekgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl)




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